Enough

Monday, February 10, 2014

This lovely piece of art is available from Melyssa at The Nectar Collective!

There are some days that I feel like I can take on the world. Most of the time, when problems present themselves, I am ready to tackle them, can't wait to solve them, and usually think that I'm the best person to do the solving. I enjoy challenges; rather, I enjoy triumphing over the challenges. I derive a lot of my self-worth from being able to achieve and do things, especially things that other people find difficult. 

Today is not one of those days.

Last night, it snowed. Again. Before you start in on me, yes, I am aware that it is winter and that I live in the northeast, so what else would I expect? I understand that winter is a season and eventually it will end (even though right now, that end is nowhere in sight). I also know that there is nothing we can do about the weather and logically, it doesn't make any sense to complain about it because it's going to do whatever it wants to do. But oh my God, if I see one more snowflake, I am going to go postal. I am sick and tired of being cold and wearing 385 layers and never having good hair. I am tired of my fingers and toes being so frozen that they hurt. I am tired of my car being covered in salt, of shoddily plowed roads, of icy patches in the parking lot that make me think I should train to be an Olympic skater, and of feeling like it hurts to breathe the air. Yes, I know that there are places far colder than where I reside, but damn it, this winter is making life miserable.



Today, I woke up, remembered that it had snowed, and wanted to stay in bed. I didn't feel well because I didn't get enough sleep, and that always messes with me. My joints were especially stiff this morning, and unbending my elbows took way longer than it ever should. I had to get up at 6 am (instead of my normal 7 or 7:30) because I needed to drive Ken to work so I could take his car for the day, as mine is still in the shop having it's power steering fixed. It's been there since Friday morning, but apparently, the extended warranty company that I use takes its sweet time determining whether they'll pay for something, so here we are. It also looks like it won't be done until tomorrow, because now there are two things wrong with the power steering. 

On my way to work, I started feeling really nauseated. I got to work and made peppermint tea to settle my stomach and started going through the nonsense I missed when I was out on Friday. Fortunately, my stomach mostly settled down and I decided it was time for coffee. I discovered that, yet again, some (insert unsavory, negative, explicit, not-for-the-ears-of-children noun here) used my creamer and left the all-but-empty container in the fridge. I'm not quite sure who doesn't understand not to touch something that isn't yours, considering most 3 year old children can understand this concept. I'm also not sure which grown adult would want to mess with someone's coffee ritual at any point during the week, let alone on a Monday morning, the day after it snowed (once again). These kinds of people must have some kind of death wish, right? I mean, really. The next time I buy creamer to bring to the office, this is the flowchart that's going on the bottle: 

If you're playing the home game, Kristin is my friend/office mate/authorized creamer user.
Fortunately, we don't have any other people named Alison or Kristin on our floor.

I was so angry at the entire event that I didn't even want to go downstairs to the small cafeteria in our building to acquire creamer, but I begrudgingly did that simply so my lack of coffee wouldn't compound a rapidly declining day. Then I sat down to deal with the incompetence from Friday. The long and the short of it is that I basically can't take a day off or else the project I manage completely tanks and goes up in flames, largely due to one person being an uncommunicative (insert unsavory, negative, explicit, not-for-the-ears-of-children noun here) who makes life far more complicated and difficult for everyone. I'm not sure how that person's behavior is my fault or my problem to solve, seeing as I don't manage her (and neither do any of my supervisors), but somehow, it remains my issue. The entire thing is infuriating because I have exactly zero power over this person and an equal lack of power to solve the problem in other ways (like hiring/firing etc). It is, hands down, the most frustrating part of my job and it makes me hate the rest of my job (which normally isn't so rage-inducing).

After dealing with that, or at the very least, quelling my homicidal rage at the sheer level of stupidity in my immediate environs, I actually got some work done. Then I ate lunch and my stomach rebelled and I thought I was going to vomit all over my desk and/or die. It was spectacular. I don't know what my problem is lately, but for the last 2 weeks or so, solid food has generally upset my stomach in strange ways. It doesn't seem to matter what I put in my mouth, protein, vegetable, fruit, carbs... everything makes me feel gross. At least at this point, I've stopped actually throwing up on a routine basis, but I could really live without the nausea, too. It seems like it's getting better, but just when I think I'm fine, I eat something and end up doubled over in bed or lying on the bathroom floor.  The good (?) news is that I've lost 9.5 pounds...?

And then I got a migraine.

On top of all of that nonsense, my RA has been acting up and everything hurts, so I'm generally a cranky person who isn't very fun to be around. Sorry, internet. Sorry, real-life friends and family. Sorry, cats.

Basically, I have just had enough today and I'd like to go home and crawl into bed, take a muscle relaxant and/or a pain killer, turn on the heating blanket, and watch a mindless TV or Netflix. I am incredibly discouraged by my reaction to life, as I am usually more resilient than this, but right now, I want to wave the white flag and call it quits. Call me when winter is over, when the sun returns, and when I can go outdoors without fearing that my fingers may freeze. Enough is enough, man.

Unfortunately, since people don't hibernate, life must go on. As such, it's time for Weekly Wishes!


The Nectar Collective


Last week, I basically failed at the goals I had listed. I did accomplish some of my work goals, but those are always works in progress, as things are constantly in flux. I did do my homework last week, but my textbooks didn't arrive until the weekend, so now I'm stuck reading for the next couple of days. I also did not fall asleep during class, but I still haven't managed to truly care about it in any real way. I am very hopeful that I will hear positively from the school where I interviewed on Friday and that I can drop the class entirely, but I also have a feeling that if I don't hear positively and know I can't drop the class that I will suddenly care about the class a lot more. Fortunately, I haven't done anything to trash my grade, so at least if I have to start caring, it won't be a completely uphill battle.

As far as the home/life goals, I... did none of them. I was productive over the weekend in that I did all of the grocery/Target shopping and did a bunch of laundry, but nothing was organized or decluttered, the library books have been renewed because they're due tomorrow (so at least I was adult enough to manage not having late fees), and I most definitely did not go to the gym. This week:

1. Catch up on reading and do the homework for Thursday's class.
This is important because we're having our first quiz for the semester and I'd like to not suck at it.

2. Organize and declutter the bedroom.
I'm not sure what my mental block is on this because I love organizing and cleaning things. I think part of the problem is that I walk into our bedroom and it's all very overwhelming, so I just crawl into bed instead. One corner/shelf at a time is going to be my plan of attack, I think. I know I'll feel better once I can see flat surfaces and can dust again. Thank God Ken isn't a neat freak or else he probably would have left me by now, haha.

3. Get 7-8+ hours of sleep per night.
My body had decided that it will basically go on strike with less than 7 hours of sleep, so I know I will feel better if I just give it what it wants. (In this regard, giving it what it wants is a good thing. In the regards where my body wants an endless supply of chocolate, this argument does not hold.)

4. Drink more water.
You would think that being in medicine/science I would totally be on top of the staying hydrated thing, but no. I am constantly dehydrated. It's stupid. I know I'd feel better if I drank more water, so I need to just DO it.

5. Send some cards/packages.
I've been meaning to send some things to various people for awhile now, so I need to carve out time this week to write out the cards, package up the goodies, and get them off to the post office. Perhaps sending some cheer will make me feel better, too.

Bonus: Try not to go completely and totally ballistic if/when the potential nor'easter hits on Wednesday night. Eastern PA Weather Authority had this to say:

***ALERT: INCREASING LIKELIHOOD FOR A MAJOR NOR'EASTER WED NIGHT/THURSDAY... ALARMS ARE SOUNDED***

The European model just came in with another "nuke" and we have enough confidence in that model's consistency as well as being deadlocked with the other foreign model guidance to expect a crippling snowfall somewhere in the vicinity of I-95 and points NW... It is becoming apparent that snowfall will need to be measured with a yardstick instead of a ruler for some places within in our coverage area. We still have to narrow down exact track over the next 48 hours or so, but someone is getting hit and hit hard. That means don't ask us how much for Scranton, Harrisburg, Allentown, Philadelphia... etc. Probability increases in east central PA, SE PA and interior New Jersey.


So... that sounds fun. I will try my best to not have a complete meltdown, but... I make no promises.

That's about it for life at Simply A. If you feel so inclined, head over to Facebook and "like" the page for the blog and click over to Bloglovin' and add me there, too! I've been picking up some really interesting blogs from various link ups and I love getting to read everyone's stories. And thank you, all of you who have been reading and commenting. It really does make my day.


I hope that you all have a lovely day, and if you are in a place where it gets cold, stay warm!

- A

5 comments:

  1. Aww that sucks. I feel your pain about your creamer getting stolen. My roommate my freshman year of college would open my packets of gold fish and eat them all before I could eat them. I'd come home from class to find my snacks gone and would end up having to go out and buy something to eat. It would make me so mad!

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    1. What is wrong with people!? My friend was just telling me about how her college roommate used to steal her shampoo, so she put it into different bottles and labeled it as something else. People are nuts!

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  2. Oh no!! So sorry!! Last week was pretty bad for me. Good luck with your goals this week!!

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    1. Thanks! I hope this week was way better for you, too!

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  3. Oh god, I hear you on your feelings about winter, because I share them completely. And yes, I know that I live in Canada, and it is winter all the time there, but especially given everything else I have been dealing with this year, it just feels like too much. I would also like to gain the ability to hibernate and just wake up in early April or something. I hope you manage to not get a crapload of snow tomorrow! Also, that your nausea passes soon, because that does not sound like fun. :(

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