It's Like Yelling at Llamas

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Hello, and welcome to the first post-Blog-Every-Day-In-May post! We all know how I feel about llamas (and if you don't, head over to my "About Me" page) and this morning, my good friend and fellow blogger, S, linked me to this gem about Scooter the Llama.

Apparently, Scooter the Llama escaped from his enclosure on June 2nd and terrorized the local establishments in Tallahassee. (In an unrelated story, a kangaroo was chased around for 10 hours outside of Tampa.) Anyway, this was made even more amusing because S posted "Drama Llama:" and then the link. For those of you who don't know the Drama Llama, I envy you. A friend of mine who writes at Smug Singleton first introduced me to the concept for the Drama Llama (though not the llama itself, b/c Smug Singleton is one of my friends who brings literally zero negative-drama into my life, which is one of the many reasons why I love and adore her). We were talking about a friend of hers who said,

"The drama llama currently roams the countryside freely, rarely visiting my little happy farm. I fear Facebook would build the drama llama a stable and fenced in pen. I have no desire to raise llamas. They spit."

Since then, I have used the phrase "Drama Llama" frequently, often referring to a herd of Drama Llamas descending on my life, asking someone to please rein in their Drama Llama, or wondering what is so attractive about my lawn that all of the Drama Llamas want to be there. The internet has interesting photos of Drama Llamas:

At least this llama looks normal

This llama needs less amphetamines.

This llama needs anger management classes.

This doesn't even really look like a llama, but I love it anyway.

ANYWAY, while I find it quite sad that Scooter the Llama had to be tasered to be subdued, I found it absolutely hysterical that the article said, "Drzewiecki said they used a taser gun to subdue the animal because llamas don't respond to voice commands." As I read this on the bus to work this morning, I found myself thinking, "Yelling at a llama is futile," which turned into "That's about as useful as yelling at a llama," which I know think is my new way of saying, "Well, that's a complete waste of time."

Also, I'm pretty sure that I can now compare people to llamas, as I know plenty of people who don't respond to voice commands (which I am pretty sure can be extended to "advice" or "counsel" or generally giving a shit about people). So, all of you people out there who continue to make poor life choices despite the wonderful advice that people would like to give you because they love you and care for you? Stop being llamas. Llamas may make very nice yarn, and they make look adorable... but they don't listen to vocal commands and that's annoying. In humans, it's damn near unacceptable. (Yes, I am aware that just because you give someone advice doesn't mean that they have to take it, and that's totally fine, but what I cannot abide is blind rejection of reality despite the fact that multiple people may have tried to point this out to you.)

ANYWAY.

I had a good reason to say to myself, "Self, this is like yelling at llamas," today. Last night, I was informed (thanks to my own checking) that I got a loan for my post-bac classes (yay!) but that it only covered part of my tuition and I am left holding a $1250 bill to pay (boo). I immediately started having a fit because what else would I possibly do at 11 pm on a Monday night? This morning I called and found out that my only option to fund this is either out of pocket (not happening) or through a private or alternative loan (argh). I then started having a meltdown of epic proportions because I felt like a financial failure and very quickly descended into the spiral of doom that had me living in a cardboard box under the freeway because Ken would leave me and my friends would abandon me and no one would love me and I would die alone. 

Then I stopped.

I said, "Alison, this is like yelling at llamas," and while it didn't make my entire meltdown cease at that very moment, it did make me smile because a) I like llamas, and b) It's true. In the end, I decided that I'd take out the private/alternative loan for this summer and if CHOP doesn't come through with their tuition reimbursement (which I applied for today for the fall term, since I'm not eligible until after July 23rd), then I will cease taking classes and continue on my merry way. I'm hoping that I don't even need to continue taking the classes in the spring because I will have already been accepted to medical school (fingers crossed!) but we'll see.

So, next time you're having a meltdown, remember the llamas.





In other news, Ken and I finally have a condo to move into in July, and we should be signing the lease by this weekend, which is very exciting! I shouldn't be nearly as excited as I am, but we get to paint! Our "move in" date is July 1st, but we won't be actually living there until closer to the middle of the month, probably, because our current lease isn't up until 7/22. At least this way, we can paint and then move things in slowly and not have to rush to do it all in a day. I'm really excited because it's much bigger than what we have, it's in a nice area near one of my best friends, and the washer and dryer are in a LAUNDRY ROOM (our current washer/dryer is in our bathroom... not ideal).

Also, yesterday I worked for only half a day because one of my darling friends, Constance, was in town with her husband. She is a neurology resident in FL and her vacation was this week. We spent the afternoon frolicking in the Reading Terminal Market and around Philly in general. Here are some photos!


1. Me and Constance in the market before lunch
2. Chocolate lungs, for $22.95!
3. Constance and Frank the Squirrel
4. Octopus ice molds!
5. Shana the Comic Book Shop Kitty (napping on comics)
6. Me and Constance before I left for class

And speaking of class, I should get to biochem... have a good night, all. And remember the llamas!

- A

1 comment:

  1. I'm so happy to have provided the impetus for this post! And I love the "That's about as useful as yelling at a llama" bit...I might have to steal it for myself!

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